November 3, 2010

True Friendship, Whatever that Means.

Something that has been on my mind lately is Friendship. Probably because I'm going through a stage in my life where I'm trying to figure out who my real friends are. I thought that part of my life was over, but I guess that it never is.
Ever since I was really young, I had a really hard time making friends who really understand me. I'm not an easy person to understand, something I blame on my Aquarian ways. I mean, if you read anything about Aquarians, you'll know that they're kind of weird and out there people who prefer being by themselves anyway. That's basically me in a nutshell. I prefer reading and being alone over hanging out with a whole bunch of people, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to make friends.
I do want friends. But I think what I want is too much to ask for. What I really want is a real friend. A friend that will listen to me complain about how much my life sucks right now. A friend that will also fan girl with me over stuff like Glee and the new Harry Potter movie that will come out. A friend that will talk to me about the random instances I have with the boys in my life. I just want a real friend. A true friend. Someone who will listen to me and love me for everything. Someone who will listen to me cry at 3 am. I'm not saying that I don't have friends like that. I do, and I'm grateful for them, but I don't have a friend who is all of that for me.
I thought that moving back to Oahu would be a change. I thought that I'd make new friends and have better ones, but that was a lot to ask for, I guess. With the exception of a very select few, the people that I've met here in church/YSA haven't been the best example of friends. They're gossipy, mean and controlling. They don't care about me or what I'm going through, but they expect me to show up and hang out with them. They're not the kind of people that I want to hang out with, though. They talk bad and laugh at people and then they act completely different to their faces. That's one thing that I definitely can't stand. I mean, I try to be nice and just hang out and stuff, but it's hard, you know? I've had such bad luck with friends the last few years a part of me wonders if it's even worth it...
Anyway, readers, what's your definition of a true friend? How do you make friends and stuff? Any suggestions for the friend dilemma?

1 comment:

  1. :( totally been in this position before. It's really rough making new friends and forming deep, meaningful connections with people. Honestly, there are some people you just *click* with and some that you don't, in my opinion. And people our age SUCK at being good friends/good listeners/etc sometimes...

    I moved home a few months ago (well. it's where my family lives. I've never lived here before.) And still have yet to make true friends here. I've just stuck to talking to my mom and calling up my good friends from college when I need someone to talk to....I'm trying to figure out how to solve this problem myself, to be honest! But if I figure it out, I'll pass it on. The best solution I've been able to come up with at this point is that finding time to have good, one-on-one conversations with people (as opposed to chillin' in groups) can really help create meaningful relationships.

    I'll pray for you, hopefully that helps! I know that God has definitely placed people in my life right when I needed them the most, so hopefully he can send a good friend your way soon :)