Ever since I was really young, I had a really hard time making friends who really understand me. I'm not an easy person to understand, something I blame on my Aquarian ways. I mean, if you read anything about Aquarians, you'll know that they're kind of weird and out there people who prefer being by themselves anyway. That's basically me in a nutshell. I prefer reading and being alone over hanging out with a whole bunch of people, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to make friends.
I do want friends. But I think what I want is too much to ask for. What I really want is a real friend. A friend that will listen to me complain about how much my life sucks right now. A friend that will also fan girl with me over stuff like Glee and the new Harry Potter movie that will come out. A friend that will talk to me about the random instances I have with the boys in my life. I just want a real friend. A true friend. Someone who will listen to me and love me for everything. Someone who will listen to me cry at 3 am. I'm not saying that I don't have friends like that. I do, and I'm grateful for them, but I don't have a friend who is all of that for me.
I thought that moving back to Oahu would be a change. I thought that I'd make new friends and have better ones, but that was a lot to ask for, I guess. With the exception of a very select few, the people that I've met here in church/YSA haven't been the best example of friends. They're gossipy, mean and controlling. They don't care about me or what I'm going through, but they expect me to show up and hang out with them. They're not the kind of people that I want to hang out with, though. They talk bad and laugh at people and then they act completely different to their faces. That's one thing that I definitely can't stand. I mean, I try to be nice and just hang out and stuff, but it's hard, you know? I've had such bad luck with friends the last few years a part of me wonders if it's even worth it...
Anyway, readers, what's your definition of a true friend? How do you make friends and stuff? Any suggestions for the friend dilemma?