Decisions of the Important Sort.

I usually HATE doing multiple posts in a day.
So, I'm sorry.
But I needed to write this post.

Because I need your help with something.
Don't worry, it's not horrible,

I just need some advice, from unbiased people.

OK, so I'm doing what every 20yo college student does,

Contemplating life & where the next step will take me.

In my contemplation, I decided that I wanted to get away

Just for a little while, you know?

For a long time, I wanted to serve a mission for my church,

But recently, I decided against it. 

While serving a mission is amazing & such a blessing, it's not for me.

Not right now at least.

So then, I decided that I would apply for the Disney College Internship thing.

Buuut....I didn't make the first round of interviews.

Which is okay.

I mean, it's not like I'm totally in love with Disney

& it's not like my g-ma put down 20,000 bucks (not all at one time)

to purchase a Disney Vacation Club Membership.
I mean, no hard feelings at all :)

It's just not what Heavenly Father wanted for me.

Well, now I'm stuck trying to figure out what to do next.

I know for sure that I want to continue school.

But I don't want to go to UH Manoa

And HPU is a little too expensive for me...

So, I've contemplated the BYU schools.

Specifically BYU Hawaii & BYU Provo.

But, I can't apply to either school until the summer,

Which means I'd have to try for Winter Term

& which means that I wouldn't be in school in the fall.

I love both schools,

but I'm more taken with BYU Provo.

I mean, BYUH is beautiful, but it wouldn't be a big change.

Well, sure it would be 1.5 hours away from home,

But still close enough.

I love everything about BYU Provo.

Except the price.

I mean, I have no money.

Not even to attend BYUH.

But if I took the fall semester off,

I could work & start selling stuff on my etsy shop.

I know that a Church School is what Heavenly Father

wants of me.

As soon as I got denied the Disney thing, I prayed

& immediately my thoughts were to check out the church schools.

But now how do I get there?

Nephi 3:7 is a favorite scripture of mine, so I know that
He wouldn't give me a commandment (or inspiration)

without giving me a way to get there.

I don't know.
What would you guys do?

Take the semester off and work to get to a church school

or

Just apply to UH Manoa where I know that I'll get in?

And which school would you rather go to?

BYU Hawaii or BYU Provo?

Those questions are more for the lds peeps.

So for everyone else, do you have any financial advice?

Any scholarship suggestions?

Anything having to do with money?

Budgeting tips?

I seriously need all the help I can get!

True Friendship, Whatever that Means.

Something that has been on my mind lately is Friendship. Probably because I'm going through a stage in my life where I'm trying to figure out who my real friends are. I thought that part of my life was over, but I guess that it never is.

Ever since I was really young, I had a really hard time making friends who really understand me. I'm not an easy person to understand, something I blame on my Aquarian ways. I mean, if you read anything about Aquarians, you'll know that they're kind of weird and out there people who prefer being by themselves anyway. That's basically me in a nutshell. I prefer reading and being alone over hanging out with a whole bunch of people, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to make friends.

I do want friends. But I think what I want is too much to ask for. What I really want is a real friend. A friend that will listen to me complain about how much my life sucks right now. A friend that will also fan girl with me over stuff like Glee and the new Harry Potter movie that will come out. A friend that will talk to me about the random instances I have with the boys in my life. I just want a real friend. A true friend. Someone who will listen to me and love me for everything. Someone who will listen to me cry at 3 am. I'm not saying that I don't have friends like that. I do, and I'm grateful for them, but I don't have a friend who is all of that for me.

I thought that moving back to Oahu would be a change. I thought that I'd make new friends and have better ones, but that was a lot to ask for, I guess. With the exception of a very select few, the people that I've met here in church/YSA haven't been the best example of friends. They're gossipy, mean and controlling. They don't care about me or what I'm going through, but they expect me to show up and hang out with them. They're not the kind of people that I want to hang out with, though. They talk bad and laugh at people and then they act completely different to their faces. That's one thing that I definitely can't stand. I mean, I try to be nice and just hang out and stuff, but it's hard, you know? I've had such bad luck with friends the last few years a part of me wonders if it's even worth it...

Anyway, readers, what's your definition of a true friend? How do you make friends and stuff? Any suggestions for the friend dilemma?